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Kara kruz: the mommy returns (9th palkat)


Kara Kruz: The Mommy Returns (9th palkat)

Kalis Marco S, M.R.B.

Someday I know we’ll meet again
In heaven by the rainbow’s end
-Judge Moira Dela Torre, Take Her to the Moon for Me

Part VI, Da Formula 6

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during tita Judge Aramina’s trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little suggestive.

(N.B., still unable to write the sequel of this never-ending story, Tita Judge Aramina again requested that I write it, because not only that she is overly encumbered with her duties as the Vice President, just like tita Kara Danvers, tita Judge Aramina has to walk away too from certain… vulnerabilities?)

The devil is in the detail.
-an old idiom

“So, Kal-EL,” ate Alma giggled her words the other day, “you know how to spell friends, but did you know the singer’s name is spelled with a dash, like, Anne-Marie?”


“Hmm, details,” I muttered to myself the other day.

“And Kal-EL,” ate Alma suddenly appeared confused, “I’m confused, you have not really detailed the specifics of tita Rosario’s sudden decision to go to Ukraine, leaving tito Mark Antony alone… what in the devil’s work had he done to inspire such bold move by tita Rosario… and why Ukraine?’

“Well, I am not really a chismoso,” I again muttered to myself the other day as I tried to recall my mommy Miss Brenda’s gossi… conversation with my daddy Marco San while we were crossing the unwalled Rainbow Bridge in Niagara Falls on our way to attend tita Ana Rosalea’s wedding in Richmond Hill… or was it tita geneticist Elisa’s re-wedding? Tita Elisa’s mother wanted a Hungarian wedding but apparently, It was hard for everyone to attend the ‘buda’ in Budapest (my mommy Miss Brenda’s joke, buda apparently is ilocano for wedding), so the re-wedding was held in Richmond Hill. A ‘re-wedding’ because tita Elisa’s mommy was not able to attend the wedding at the Amburayan River.

There were actually four reasons why I can’t remember that particular conversation regarding tita Rosario’s sudden decision to go to Ukraine leaving tito Mark:

Reason 1: Their conversation was in Ilokano

Reason 2: They were whispering and sometimes would spell words like ‘S-E-X’ so I would not catch the gist, the meaning of their conversation

Reason 3: I was busy figuring out the name of Rainbow Bridge… was it named after the rainbow that would appear on the mist from the falls during sunny days… and how would one bury a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow… which end of the rainbow… how to dig a hole on a mist… and would I find ate Moira Dela Torre instead of a pot of gold?

(she said so herself in her own original composition song)

Reason 4: I fell asleep

If I were not sure whose wedding it was, probably because tita Ana Rosalea does look like tita geneticist Elisa, they look like… twins. Just like tita Adina and tita Diana, ate Alma’s mommy.

Probably it was tita Ana Rosalea and apong Don Huan’s wedding because from what I could remember from the ilocano version of my Memoir iti maysa a Maladaga palkat 22, tita Henrietta, apong Don Huan, and Don Giancarlo performed Jars of Heart ala zarsuela:

Tito Don Giancarlo (unedited original):

Siak Hani Henri, Darling, nanggangat, who put back the light, the glitters in your eyes,
siak nangpa Kiam-Kiam kadagita matam
Kada coding ta
Your first kiss, every goodnight kiss, french kiss
Isu ngarud, come back to us Mi Esposa, Mi Amore, agsubli kan kenkuami

Enihu, people would sometimes mistake tita Ana Rosalea for tita Elisa. But Dr. Desiré Fer mistaking tita Elisa for her daughter Miss Lucy Fer? Hmm.

Mistake or not, there was no mistaking in what Dr. Desiré Fer felt when she saw tita Elisa’s whiter shade of pale face upon learning about the bombing of the CLMS. She could feel the anguish in tita Elisa’s face. Dr. Desiré could almost feel the anguish that her daughter Lucy must have felt when she was told about her parents’ death… her apparent death.

She and her husband Dr. Fer were working on their research regarding magnetic iron; the harnessing of magnetic energy that could eliminate the need for fossil fuel; their research that could have eventually surpassed Nikola Tesla’s discovery.

But there was an explosion; the mobile AAS, Atomic Absorption Spectrometer they were using to analyze the metallic iron content of their big boulder of rock suffered a backfire when the flame from the burner backflushed into the acetylene tank, the tank exploded and became a projectile that hit the big boulder of rock. The rock rolled and… and…

Suddenly, Dr. Desiré Fer’s face turned into a whiter shade of pale, like tita Elisa’s face. Strangely, they started to look like… mother and daughter?


Meanwhile, back in Camarines, when tita Christine pointed the Dead ‘C’ Scroll document to the rock and exclaimed OPEN SESAME and while tito Edo was watching the rug in the sky which he had surmissed that it could be a garbage missile from Canada:

OMG! A garbage war!

The rock rolled and opened the door to what appeared to be a cave. Tito Edo, tita Alexandria, tito Charlie, and tita Christine ran away from the rolling rock. They did not run in the same direction as the rolling rock like what you would normally see in the movies, e.g., Indiana Jones, but they ran perpendicularly out of the path of the rolling rock.

Tita Alexandria giggled as she tried to catch her breath:

“Common sense would dictate you should avoid the path of the rolling object that could potentially flatten you like a very flat gingerbread man.”

Then suddenly, tita Christine pointed at the opening of the cave:

“Look! Someone is coming out of the cave!”

Tito Charlie: That’s the risen Jesus Christ! His robe is emanating some kind of misty white light!

Tita Alexandria: Like an aura…

Tito Edo: More like… ephemeral…no, like a pulsating light… like the light of the kulalanti, kulitaptap, firefly…

Tita Alexandria: The light caused by the chemical compound luciferin… luci…

Tita Christine: Wait! She looks like… Miss VV

Tito Edo: Miss Vivian Velez? Don Huan’s imaginary childhood gelpren

Tita Christine: No, I mean Miss Vanessa V

Tito Edo: Miss Vanessa V was Don Huan’s imaginary childhood gelpren?

Tita Alexandria (laughing): Now you are sounding like Mayora Annette

Tita Christine: Miss Vanessa V is Karms’ main character in How to Cauterize your Bleeding Heart

Meanwhile, back in Cavite, Captain Angel Gabriel had already landed Heneral Ramas’ helicopter, his instruction was to take everybody to Karmanet Sarisari Store Kabikulan compound in Camarines. Tita Lara Mae noticed that tita Ariana was not with tita Nancy and her husband Captain Angel Gabriel:

Tita Lara Mae: Where is Miss Ariana?

Tita Nancy: We couldn’t wait for her… she was supposed to bring her twins to Dasma and come with us but it seems she… disappeared again

So they all went to Camarines. They just landed at the compound of the Karmanet SariSari Store when:

Tita Henrietta: Look! Up in the sky!

Tita Nancy: OMG! That looks like… a rug … garbage from Canada!

Tito Captain Angel Gabriel immediately loaded some overriped durian fruit and banana peels in one of the helicopter cannons:

“This is garbage war! Get ready Calgary!”

Tita Henrietta: Wait! It looks like the president of Canada has recalled the 69 containers of their garbage!

Ate Alma giggled and tugged at my sleeve the other day while typing this:

“Kal-EL, they don’t have a president in Canada, they have a PM.”

“Ha?” I muttered to myself the other day, “they have PM…

Petra Mahalimuhak

hmm, lucky!”

Enihu, back in Tawi-Tawi, while tito Aramiro’s grandfather, his lolo Datu Tandulan was processing in his mind what he saw in the sky, Tita Judge Aramina noticed that tita Mayora Annette had suddenly turned pale and speechless:

“She must be worrying about Karm,” tita Judge Aramina mumbled to herself.

Tita Aramina knew tita Rosario’s parents never liked tito Mark Antony. She knew because tita Aramina and tito Aramiro both worked as lawyers in tita Rosario’s parents’ law firm in Manila. They were there when tita Rosario announced that she had found the man of her dreams.

Tita Aramina and tito Aramiro were surprised then because they knew tita Rosario had always deflected suitors, a Miss Sungit, always showing the suitors her fist. But when she met tito Karm in Baguio while attending a seminar, suddenly, they could hear her humming:

The hills are alive, la-la-la-la-laaaaaaaa

She had that aura, almost like a glowing buntis.

“Pssst Aramiro, tita Aramina whispered then, “she is glowing, is she already pregnant?”

Well, apparently she was, so the lawyers did not object when tita Rosario announced she’d marry tito Karm.

(But tita Rosario lost her baby when the Celica, her Celica that tito Karm was driving dove into a rangkis, a cliff in Dalton Pass, apparently, they were doing some shenanigans while the car was in motion)

Then tito Karm apparently did some extra curricular shenanigans, then tita Rosario went away, then she came back only to see tito Karm and tita Annette having some dinner fun… or fun dinner. Tito Karm stutteringly introduced tita Annette then to tita Rosario, to the lawyer parents, to tita Rosario’s brother with tita Adina and their son:

“We are just… f-f-f-freinds.”

But the shock in the lawyers’ faces suddenly dissipated when they recognized tita Annette:

“Are you… Mary Antoinette Rivera?”

“Yes ma’am.” Tita Annette sheepishly replied.

“Then you are our Goddaughter… we are your Godparents.”

Tita Aramina was dying with laughter while they were chismi… talking about the restaurant scene:

“So Aramiro, what a coincidence eh, Karm was sleeping with Rosario’s Godsister, although apparently nothing was really happening between them.”

“Yes Aramina, nothing was happening while they were sleeping.”

“You mean Aramiro, they were…

Freinds with benefits?”

Kalis Marco San, M.R.B. ©2019

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