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Kara kruz: the mommy returns (3rd palkat)


Kara Kruz: The Mommy Returns (3rd palkat)

Kalis Marco S, M.R.B.

They will fight against you but not prevail over you
-Jeremiah 1: 4-5, first reading, 4th Sunday in ordinary time

Part VI, Da Formula 6

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on true events and confessions during tita Judge Aramina’s trials and tribulations. Names, places, and events are slightly modified and altered not to sensationalize but to hide the true personae of the characters and any similarities to your real life experiences are purely accidental, co-incidental, and unintended. Peks man, cross my heart and hope to die. Discretion is strongly advised as some readers might find the contents just a little suggestive.

(N.B., still unable to write the sequel of this never-ending story, Tita Judge Aramina again requested that I write it, because not only that she is overly encumbered with her duties as the Vice President, just like tita Kara Danvers, tita Judge Aramina has to walk away too from certain… vulnerabilities?)

Where there’s smoke, there is fire

February 3, 2019
Catholic Church
Somewhere in Tawi-Tawi

Left hand inside his pants’ pocket, tito Jerry felt nauseous; he was fiddling with his pack of cigarette and he needed to smoke badly. Suddenly, a feeling of guilt seeped through his veins. He promised his wife tita Alicia he’d quit. But just like old habits, promises seemed harder to fulfil… they just linger, like a mañana habit: tomorrow, I will start to quit smoking.

Tita Alicia of course had told tito Jerry numerous times what benefits smoking cessation would give to his health:

Tita Alicia: Well you know Jerry dear, smoking could kill you, and if you stopped smoking, it would save you from some embarassing situations, like getting fired if you smoke at your workplace

Tito Jerry: Wow, that’s a little bit harsh Alice dear, where there’s smoke there is fire… too harsh

Tita Alicia: Well, someone actually got fired for smoking marijuana at the workplace

Tito Jerry could just laugh, but he wasn’t sure if Tita Alicia was just joking about her smoking/firing story. Or if that actually happened elsewhere because he knew if it happened in the Philippines, that cannabis smoker would have been arrested and jailed.

Tita Alicia stood to make her way to the lectern; she’d read the first reading. Tito Jerry subtly made his escape through the sidedoor. Suddenly, he was outside and seated at the cement rim of the water well. Tito Jerry was not sure if the water well had any water or if people still fetch water from it.

He looked around the yard; it appeared desolate, so… tranquil. He'd spend most of his Sunday mass' break to just sit there and smoke and reflect on events… the trivialities... the mundanities in his life.

The dreams that went unfulfilled. “Surely I am not regretting marrying my wife Alicia," tito Jerry mumbled, but what was troubling tito Jerry was, he settled into a comfort zone; his dreams were pushed aside.

Background check:

Engineer Jerry Maya, born Geronimo Maya, a geodetic engineer for a gold mining company in Mindanao: Oro Ukay-Ukay Corp.

Tita Alicia, a singer, born Alicia Gambotu, known in the music world as Alice G. or simply A. G. Of course, when she married tito Jerry, people would refer to her as the singer A. G. Maya.

Tito Jerry dreamt to be a journalist; probably winning a Pulitzer Prize someday. But his father warned him of the risks he’d be facing if he were a journalist, especially if he’d write about politics, or even religion, the high probability of getting arrested, jailed, or even killed:

We can talk openly about all these during dinner son, but it's different when your audience is the world; you might not get the protection you’d need to preserve your life, especially if you decide to write about the stench in politics or church.

Hmn, "preservation of life,” tito Jerry mumbled as he fished for his lighter in his pocket. A faint smile appeared on his face as he remembered what his seminarian friend Karlus Markus used to say in their boarding house:

Listen to your father Jerry, he might not know what's best because he is not your mother, but according to the Ten Commandments, you have to honor his ideas too... and you know, your father was just trying to guide you.

Tito Jerry’s smile turned into a grin when he remembered creating a profile in a Mail-Order Groom website for his friend Karlus Markus. He put ‘Geodetic Engineer' as his friend’s occupation. And voala, a Genetic Engineer from New York sponsored his friend who ended up being a deacon anyway: Deacon Karl Marks.

“At least, his dreams came through," tito Jerry mumbled, “the dream of marrying a blonde woman and also serving the catholic church.”

Then tito Jerry’s face became sullen because he just realized his friend Deacon Karl Marks could be unnecessarily exposed to some stench. Then Tito Jerry slightly wrinkled his nose. “I could smell stench,” he mumbled, “smells like… a piggery, I know that smell, because I used to clean our pigs’ pigsty or pigs’ house which would double as their comfort room… probably just my imagination… probably because it is the year of the pig this year according to the Chinese New Year.”

Meanwhile, in CLMS, Church of the Latter Married Saints in Naga City Camarines, tita Angel Garcia was reading the first reading when the Deacon, Deacon Karl Marks bit his lower lip. “Hmn, someone had just remembered me,” he mumbled. For some odd reason, the Deacon remembered that woman in Sampaloc who insisted she knew him as Mayora Annette's boypren. “No, that’s absurd, I’d never met that woman in my previous life!”

“Funny Deacon Karl,” the woman pressed, “keep denying and you could be impeached… or deny two more times and you might end up a saint too, just like that apostle who denied knowing JC three times.”

"Mixing politics with religion," Deacon Karl shook his head as he looked around the church, tita Angel still reading the first reading, then the Deacon bit his lower lip to suppress a smile: he just realized he was actually sitting at the right hand side of the father: tita Victoria’s husband priest.

Tita Victoria aka Miss Vickie is tita Rosario’s best friend. Tita Vickie also became tito Karm’s best friend when tita Rosario left him because of some complicated adult situation. Just like what ate Alma said once, “adults are sooo complicated Kal-EL, you know when I was still a toddler, my mommy Doktora Diana used to google tito Karms’ name…hmn.”

Meanwhile back in Tawi-Tawi, tito Jerry stood to light his cigarette. But suddenly he felt lightheaded and he could see the church’s yard spinning around. Then he lost his balance and he stumbled backward and fell into the well:

“OMG! I am falling!”


“AREKUP!” "Sanabab…no water."

Then he could smell the stench that was more intense. Realizing he was still holding his lighter, he flicked his lighter to light his lighter:


Meanwhile, back in CLMS, Naga City, tita Angel had just finished reading the first reading:

“The Word of the Lord."

When suddenly there was a loud explosion:


Tita Detective Precious H. Polito who was beading her Rosary beads was suddenly thrown forward:

Tita Precious H. Polito: OMG! OKINNANA! Déjà vu all over again!


Kalis Marco San, M.R.B. ©2019

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