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the lawyer
7/6/2006 9:32:14 PM

Poster

7/6/2006 8:11:00 PM
THE DYING MAN



After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the rich old man was told he had only 24 hours to live. He immediately called his two lawyers to his room. He asked them to each stand by one side of his bed.

After standing for some time, the first lawyer asked, "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. Just stand there."

A while later, the second lawyer asked, "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. Just stand there."

As the hours wore on, both the lawyers watched the man weaken. When his time had almost arrived, they again asked, "Why are we standing here?"

"Well," said the old man, "Christ died between two thieves, so I thought I'd do the same!
Poster

7/6/2006 8:15:00 PM
A LAWYER'S AMBITION



There was a job opening in the country’s most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It’s up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?" In seconds, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside. "I don’t understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I’d lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"

"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Paul replies.

"Your hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn’t any money in either of them!"
Poster

7/6/2006 8:18:00 PM
THE LAWYER'S INTERVIEW



A former lawyer applied to a government contractor for a job. The contractor asked him what he could do. "I'll be a consultant," the lawyer said.

"We have enough consultants," the contractor said.

"I know all about what's going on in government," the lawyer said. "I'll be an advisor."

"We have enough advisors," the contractor said.

By now the lawyer was becoming a little desperate. "Look," he said, "I'm not overly proud. I'll help you with paperwork, sort of like a clerk."

"Sorry," said the contractor. "We have more than enough clerks.

With that the lawyer got upset. Jumping to his feet, he turned toward the door and shouted, "Well, to work for you, I'd have to be a low-down, double-dealing SOB anyhow."

"You didn't say you were a lawyer!" exclaimed the contractor. "Do sit down."





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